Sometimes You Have To DO It To KNOW it

January has been tough for me. I have been struggling. Now, your first fleeting thought may have been - “Uh, seriously? You are on an amazing trip of a lifetime for 4 months traipsing around the tropics! You have sun and surf and fun, not a care in the world!” And my response to that is . . . . .Yes, AND . . . .

I really AM on an amazing and privileged journey in a beautiful (albeit sometimes challenging) part of the world. I am so grateful for the things I have seen and experienced. AND ALSO, there have been some unexpected kinks in my plan. No amount of planning or researching or trying to control the universe was going to stop the unexpected from happening.

In the month of January, I moved between six different accommodations. And often, I did not have my own space - I shared rooms and resources with other people. Not ideal for me as it turns out. So lesson one for me is - I am NOT cut out to be that floaty, un-anchored, perpetual “digital nomad” that wanders around from bunk to bunk, free as a bird. Turns out, that is not me. This is great information, because in my continual and never ending evolution, I can now take this into account when I envision or plan my next big adventure.

This was no doubt colored by the additional fact that I spent over two weeks in January sick and miserable. I went from a sniffle, to a chest cold, to bronchitis, to sinusitis . . . .good times. The fact that I spent half the month at an elevation higher than Denver just exacerbated the torture. Breathing was definitely a challenge. We don’t ever think about what it will be like or what we will do if we get sick on vacation, or in my case while traveling as part of living my life. It really puts a damper on the rosy vision we have for ourselves - and can often leave us feeling cranky, resentful, sad, embarrassed, like a failure, and wanting to just crumple on the ground having a big ‘ol crying tantrum like a 3 year old. (So yeah, that is me listing my ACTUAL reactions lol). Lesson two then is - s**t happens. And since that is a given, and we have no control over it, we need to figure out our own reaction and response so that we can make the best of it. Raging against something we have no control over is a waste of energy and power.

I realize now that I had settled into a bit of comfortable auto pilot over the last couple of months. I had built up confidence, comfort and pride over the last several weeks as I managed to travel solo LIKE A BOSS, make new connections, stretch and grow myself, experience magical things in foreign lands. So I forgot about being mindful and present. I forgot to pay attention. I forgot about being grateful. I forgot that I am human. So when I got knocked down a peg, I took it personally and I took it hard.

And that’s what we do, isn’t it? We become buoyed by something we read or watched or studied. Or get pumped up by our tribe or our life coach - and we bust out into the world making great strides improving ourselves, growing, finding our authenticity. And its all WORKING! We have GOT this! So we silently click on the cruise control feeling quite self-satisfied. Then something happens. Something doesn’t go as planned, someone fails us or we feel we have failed ourselves, an obstacle shoots up in front of us that takes us completely by surprise. . . .

And that is when we do it - we immediately turn on ourselves. We say and think unkind things about ourselves. We assume this terrible thing is a testament to our unworthiness or incompetence. - a verdict that we have it all wrong and need to slink back to what was comfortable and safe. Been there? You are not alone.

But know this. All of those things that feel like setbacks are just re-calibrations and learning new information. They are just little bumps and detours on a path that is still moving forward even when it doesn’t seem like it. You have not failed. You are not weak. You are not wrong, mistaken, misguided or stupid. What you are is a beautiful work in progress. You don’t know what you don’t know - until you learn it, LOL! We just can’t plan for things we don’t even know are possible. You just run into them and have to decide to do your best to get to the other side. You won’t die. It will be fine. It just may be a little uncomfortable and frustrating for a minute. Nothing is permanent. This too shall pass, as they say.

This my friends is the hard part of letting go of the “how.” When we continually try to control the universe down to the 1000 steps in our 5 year plan to get to that ultimate goal - we will actually experience MORE kicks in the gut than if we kept our eye on the ball and just kept putting one foot in front of the other, taking the next aligned step that feels right. When we let go of the “how”, we are owning the fact that we don’t know everything and we don’t have visibility of all the potential paths and possibilities. This is when we drop our choke hold on the universe and make room for it to work its magic.

I have learned some tactical things about myself this month - how I like to travel, what daily rhythm best suits my temperament and energy, how to ask for cold medicine at the farmacia in Spanish . . . 🙂 And I also was reminded of some persistent truths about my inner self and the energetic work of the universe - that the “how” is none of my business, I only have control over my response to external events & experiences, nothing is permanent, and most of all - I am just fine, not broken, not misguided, still deserving of love and compassion from myself, allowed to be human, and most importantly I HAVE GOT THIS! (and so do you!)

By the way, did you know I have a podcast? I would love to hear what you think - and if you like it, you can subscribe on pretty much any of your favorite podcast platforms like Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon Music/Audible, iHeartRadio etc. :)

Until next time! Be kind to yourself, be curious, and be BRAVE!

—Sharon

I am so grateful for the time you take to read this blog. It means the world to me! I have also made it possible to share a virtual cup of coffee with me if you are so inclined! 😉 ☕️