What is "home," anyway?

Re-entry in 5-4-3-2-1. . . .

What is “home,” anyway?

In less than 48 hours, I get on a plane to return to the US for the first time in 4 months. This is certainly the longest trip I have been on (though not technically the longest I have “lived” outside the US). I will be honest - I have mixed feelings about heading “home.” Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore living on Cape Cod and have missed my friends, colleagues and community. I have experienced FOMO more than once over things I missed out on this winter (though definitely didn’t miss the rain, snow, wind and cold!)

And also, I have had the opportunity to meet people, see things, and have experiences throughout Central America that I wouldn’t change for the world. I have been welcomed into communities and circles of people where I also felt included, supported and celebrated. So just as it was hard to detach from my life on The Cape, it is equally hard to detach from what I have built in my short time traveling this winter.

It really got me thinking about what “home” really means. Is it literally my house? Is it where my family is? My best friend? My office? Is it a zip code? Is it a place where I keep my stuff? I suppose on some level it could partially be any number of those things. But I have seen with my own eyes, and experienced first hand that “home” is more about who and how I am in a particular place, rather than the place itself.

What I mean by that is, feeling “at home” is an internally derived feeling based on your connection to yourself and what matter to you. I have learned that you can feel a sense of home pretty much anywhere if you are friends with and connected to yourself first and foremost. That next layer is the connection you have to the people and community around you. This can be created just about anywhere if you are willing to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. And as a note - just because you made those connections in a specific geographic location, does not make the geographic or physical location “home.” If the physical pinpoint went away for some reason, you would still have the connections you made while in that location. You can still experience that feeling of home every time you interact with those communities.

I have rested my head in 5 or 6 different geographic locations this winter - and I have made connections with the people, communities and environments in every single one. When I was in those places, I created a sense of “home.” The people and experiences were catalysts for building that home inside myself. I felt the pain of separation every time I left one of those places. But that pain did not mean I was leaving or losing home, it was just the temporary pain that occurs when you have a change in state or being. By maintaining home within myself, I am able to carry it with me everywhere.

That also got me thinking about attachment. I talk a lot about how we must detach ourselves from outcomes - how we must be willing to release our grip of fear to show up in the world with hands open and facing upwards where things like money, love, and abundance have the freedom to flow into and through us. I think its the same with the “homes” we create as we move through our lives. It’s the grasping that kills it. When we have a good experience or make a meaningful connection, we sometimes want to grasp on to it with all our might to hang on to it so we don’t lose it. But it is this stranglehold that ultimately backfires on us.

They say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime - and we won’t necessarily know which until we look back on it at the end. I think the same is true for homes. I know it is bittersweet to physically leave the community I have thrived in this winter. But I also know that the parts that are meant to stay with me are still right here, accessible to me from the inside anytime I want. I have memories that make me smile and life lessons that are worth more to me than any class or book I could have studied.

And right now - I am brimming with excitement to reconnect in the physical world with my home on Cape Cod. I have kept that home close to me all winter even though the miles were many between us. To come home again is a blessing - and when you build and nurture that home inside yourself, you get to experience joyful homecomings for the rest of your life.

Looking for more ways to connect and go deeper into these topics?

1. I have a podcast! It's called A Brave Journey - Reclaiming Your Identity After 40. I would love to hear what you think - and if you like it, you can subscribe on pretty much any of your favorite podcast platforms like Apple and Spotify.

2. For the first time in quite a long time - I am opening some spaces in my Year-long Journey To Brave and my 12-Week Transformation programs. These are opportunities to go deeper with me one on one to get specific and intentional about reimagining and recurating your own belief system and authentic identity. I have missed this level of connection with you - and if you have been missing it too, reach out!

Until next time! Be kind to yourself, be curious, and be BRAVE!

—Sharon

I am so grateful for the time you take to read this blog. It means the world to me! I have also made it possible to share a virtual cup of coffee with me if you are so inclined! 😉 ☕️