The chatter is real . . .

Treating words as a precious resource

Author

Sharon Welch
February 16, 2024

The chatter is real . . .

I was thinking the other day about how difficult it is to learn and then actually use a foreign language. Particularly as an adult, we have had many years to become set in our ways and jam a lot of habits and assumptions into our brains.

I noticed how the conversation dynamic is so different when I am communicating in Spanish while traveling than when I am home with the comfort of my native tongue. I don’t just mean the obvious stumbling over vocabulary and verb conjugation - I mean the process and flow of a conversation.

I have to really think about what it is I want to communicate. First of all, it is an act of vulnerability to try to meet someone “where they are” so to speak. In this case, it is stepping outside of my comfort zone to speak to someone in their native tongue rather than expect them to wade into the comfort zone of mine. Also, I don’t know an infinite number of words, so I must choose each one like a precious jewel. I then need to carefully decide how to string those words together into a sentence that can be understood. And when I receive a reply, I need to focus my full attention on what is being spoken back to me to ensure I fully understand it as well.

This of course causes pauses in the flow of the communication, and perhaps some repetition and a bit of nervous laughter. But in the end, there is a great sense of accomplishment and pride in having been able to exchange thoughts with this other person. And I would expect it feels pretty great to be seen and acknowledged as the other person.

So what if . . .and I know many of you have already raced ahead to this idea . . .what if we applied that same concept to how we communicate and connect with each other in the safety and comfort of our own language? What if we took the time to think and consider our words carefully before actually speaking? (Or even better, prioritized and curated our words to only actually verbalize the clearest, most important thoughts instead of thrashing out a crazy word salad?) What if we took the vulnerable empathetic step to reach out to people where they are and not expect them to just figure out how to get to where we are? What if we consciously shut out all the chatter around us and were really present in a conversation - hearing the words and taking the time to consider the meaning and context?

Many of us are fortunate to live and communicate in environments we are quite comfortable in - so we forget (or have never experienced) what it can be like to communicate in a world where perhaps you are the stranger or the different one. It can be a powerful exercise to put yourself in that situation - to experience what that feels like. I highly recommend taking a field trip to do just that. Maybe its a trip to a foreign country, but more likely its just visiting a restaurant, shop, or neighborhood where the language is not your own. It can change you. And what a different world it might be if we then carried that with us - kinder, calmer, clearer. I would love if you would reach out and share your experience if you try this!

By the way, did you know I have a podcast? I would love to hear what you think - and if you like it, you can subscribe on pretty much any of your favorite podcast platforms like Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon Music/Audible, iHeartRadio etc. :)

Until next time! Be kind to yourself, be curious, and be BRAVE!

—Sharon

I am so grateful for the time you take to read this blog. It means the world to me! I have also made it possible to share a virtual cup of coffee with me if you are so inclined! 😉 ☕️